Paki Politics
The word "politics" is derived from the words "poly" meaning many, and the word "tics" meaning blood sucking parasites.
October 17,1999
GENERAL PERVEZ MUSHARRAF'S ADDRESS TO THE NATION
What he actually wanted to say.
(1). I can speak and read TWO languages, English and Urdu ……..Wow.
(2). After Pakistan's renowned tank ‘Al-Khalid’ Pak Army has developed another gadget, THINK TANK.
(3). PIA airplanes should carry extra 700 minutes’ fuel while returning home.
(4). “Maaaartialllll Laaaaw” is a long phrase. I prefer using a single word…’emergency’.
(5). All appointments will be made purely on the basis of professional competence, merit and repute............... But no 'Entrance Test' by IBA.
(6). We are not a poor nation. In fact we are rich......... Therefore, to hell with IMF, World Bank and the EU.....
(7). Quaid-i-Azam had never envisaged a democracy...….under military leadership.
(8). I have saved both, the limb and the body. But during ‘operation’ the limb got paralyzed.
(9). There is no change in our Clinton (foreign) policy.
(10). I announce a unilateral military de-escalation on our international borders because we need a large number of people to stand outside the houses of ‘house-arrested’ leaders.
Daughter of Nur Jehan, singer Zill-e-Huma, faced turbulence at Islamabad Club when she started singing Indian songs. The gathering contained some retired armed forces guests who became restless. When protest was made to her, she said music had no nationality. She particularly offended the audience when she said, 'We don't know how to fight but are good at making noises'.
Bill Clinton, impressed with reports that the Pakistani soldier, General Alamgir, did wonders in Kargil offered to give three American generals in exchange for one so that the Pak General can train the demoralized American forces.
The CE said OK. We'll take Genral Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.
Q. How do you make Tarar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q. Why can't our Ministers dial 115?
A. They cannot find the eleven on the phone
Q. Why can't Shaheen Atiqur Rehman make ice cubes?
A. She always forget the recipe.
Q: Do you think if Kulsum Nawaz comes to power she will change anything?
A:Yes, PML(N) will change to PML(K).
Heaven, is when you have:
* American Salary
* British Home
* Chinese Food
* Pakistani WifeHell, is when you have:
* American Wife
* British Food
* Chinese Home
* Pakistani Salary
continued on